It shouldn't work, but it does

Maria often blogs about her relationship with Bing. Recently she asked her readers to talk about their relationships. I left a comment that spoke mostly of how Court and I are different.

We shouldn't work, given that we are so different, but we do.

Our differences:
I tend to be more cerebral, both in my choice of movies and books and even music. She chooses more for entertainment and escape. She loves to play games (board, card and computer). With few exceptions, I don't like to play games. I am a political junkie, she is not. I am easy to weep, she rarely cries. She's a planner, I'm a follower. I'm good at finding my way to anywhere, she is easily lost and is not especially good with maps. She's romantic, I'm practical. I'm ornery and kid-like. She's refined and was born to parent. She knows when to be quiet, I speak my mind. I'm aloof and quiet, she's engaging and social.

There is, of course, our 21-year age difference. But that seems to rarely get in the way. It's more an issue for my parents and siblings than it is for us.

What we have in common:
We want the same things. We both want a simple life, and we are moving in that direction. We are homebodies. The things we have are nice, but we don't have or want a lot of things. The things we want are things that will enable simple living, like the next items on our "to buy" list: a sewing machine and a wheat grinder.

We like wholesome foods, made of basic wholesome ingredients. We enjoy cooking together. The ten-year plan, once I've recovered financially from my first marriage and Amanda is sufficiently launched into adulthood (e.g. college tuition is taken care of), is to buy several acres in the country, ideally in the Asheville, NC area, and live like Barbara Kingsolver. I'll soon make the shift to in-home employment (Court will make the transition as well), and this should enable us the flexibility to live off the land.

We value our families and make them a priority in our lives. 80% of our travel budget is for family-related travel, be it trips to PA to visit my folks, or vacations in Arkansas to spend time with hers. This summer, her younger siblings (ages 7, 11, 14) will spend several weeks with us in East Jesus.

We're both politically conservative, though we are NOT Republicans. The basic gist of our conservatism is limited government, especially in respect to people's personal lives. We value freedom above all else. I have a strong distrust of government (because politicians are always fucking things up). Neither of us sees government as a viable solution to social problems, and we both believe in individual responsibility. We do make exceptions. For example, we believe society benefits when government invests in human capital by making education at all levels affordable and accessible to anyone who is willing to work at it. We loathe the "entitlement society" we are becoming, where so many want others to pay for their mistakes (like this whole housing debacle and bailout). We share a dislike for Hillary Clinton; me because I think the Clintons are sociopaths; Court because she knows Hillary personally (they attended the same church in Little Rock).

Most importantly, we agree on money. There isn't MY money or HER money. There is only OUR money. We agree on financial goals. It's a huge thing with me because in my first marriage there was rarely agreement and all that did was land me in deep debt (I'm still digging my way out of that debt). It is huge thing for Courtney because she grew up with a lot of financial instability. The things we want we save for and buy with cash.

We both want to have and raise children together.

I know I'll think of more, but these are the main things working for us.