For weese, because she pulled up a chair...

Saturday was cafe night. Some of our guests are congregants of a gay-friendly Christian church in East Jesus. Their minister came to the cafe for the first time that night. The Reverend and I are actually facebook "friends" though we'd never met before.

I was on early greeter/bouncer duty.

Trop: "Hi, welcome to Spectrum. I'm Trop; my wife and I are your hosts."

Rev.: "Oh Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm David."

We shook hands. I uncharacteristically didn't let go.

Trop: "You're Rev. C? Oh it is so nice to finally meet you! Thanks so much for coming to the cafe. Some of your people are inside."

Rev.: "Yes, I've heard so much about this thing you are doing."

Then it happened. My eyes gave him an leering once over, and I blurted "My GOD you are a remarkably attractive man! "

What possessed me to do such a thing? And to a minister, no less!

That wasn't the only dumbass thing I did that night. I was restocking the refreshments when a woman approached me and pointed to a piece of dried fruit.

Had she asked me, "What do you suppose this is?" I would have answered "I don't know, it's dried something."

But no.

She just had to ask: "What does that look like?"

And wouldn't you know it, it looked like pussy, only when I answered her I was polite and said "vagina."

Oh. yes. I. did.

I was a very bad girl

~sigh...


I have to go to traffic court this afternoon.

Just call me Clark Griswold

I'm referring to the attic scene, when Clark finds gifts for his wife that he hid years earlier.

I'm not quite so bad. Earlier today I found this gift for Court that I completely forgot about and obviously hid too well.

She unwrapped it this morning.

I'll unwrap it again, later.

Is it a bad thing?

Is it bad that I went to the bathroom this morning during a conference call with my two bosses?

Doing the walk of shame

We dropped out of our Sunday boot camp at the Y. The tipping point was Thursday, when we decided to try out the stairs just to test our limits. (FYI: that's our church there in the upper right side of the stairs).

We did them twice. I'm not sure which is worse, going up (hard on the heart) or coming down (hard on the knees).

Bottom line: We're too heavy for the condition our knees are in.

I need to shed a lot more heft and strengthen my flabby body before I can enroll in a boot camp without risking major injury (or heart attack).

OY! It sucks being old, fat and wilted.

I'm a dumbass

We're here, and I forgot the camera.

I out-dumbassed Syd

And lived to tell the tale.

FAIL

Inspired by FAIL Blog.

Self Portrait Tuesday

Despite my many years of education, an internship, and six jobs; I still under estimate how frustrating and hard it is to learn a new thing.

This one will get me in trouble

I always knew the Democratic Party was slow on the uptake. They chose an ASS for their logo after all.

My assessment was substantiated today when the confirmation code for my unsubscribe request arrived in my in-box 24+ hours after my request.

ALMOST a clean break

I sat in my last president's staff meeting today. Immediately after, I had my last weekly one-on-one with the president. He and I normally meet on Tuesdays, but he'll be out tomorrow.

Anyway, I've been dreading these "lasts" because they can be so maudlin. Fortunately, no one said anything at staff meeting. The meeting after with the president was awkward, yet we didn't talk about the "elephant in the room." This is funny because his office is filled with elephants (his hero is Hannibal). Ten minutes and it was over. And that was that. A clean break... almost.

Dammit if I didn't forget my water bottle in the president's office.

Here's your girlfriend

She's a real Einstein.

We don't have to worry about her smoking behind our backs

Cinco de Mayo

Some people are too god damned good to answer their phone. Not naming names [Syd].

Apologies to everyone else who, unfortunately for them, answered their phone tonight.


I love y'all like sisters.

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Court and I spent our lunch hour stalking a student on campus.

Why?

Because we are desperate.

You see, weeks ago, we planned and, most importantly, pre-paid for a getaway weekend at the beach to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Everything was in place, including arrangements for a friend of ours to stay at the house with Amanda.

Our friend got called for a job interview in Kansas, so she can't stay with Amanda. As it turns out, all of our other friends have something going on this weekend, be it camping, attending an out-of-town HR conference, staying with an elderly parent in the hospital, helping a friend move into an out-of-town condo, photographing a wedding, and so on. We are SOL.

Desperate as ever, we decided to, out of the blue, ask this one student we see all the time. We found her, but she was talking on her cell phone. So we waited. She walked as she talked. We stalked. This went on for some time, until Ray, one of our campus policemen, asked what we were up to. We confessed. He laughed. Then he saw a student he knows and asked her if she wanted the job. She said she had plans for the weekend and couldn't, but offered to tell her friends about it. When we told her what it paid, she said she might change her plans and do it.

Keep your fingers crossed. We'll be so disappointed if we can't have our getaway.

She got me!

When the three of us got home tonight, we saw this sign on Amanda's bedroom door (click to see detail).

I totally fell for it. A plumber had been to the house today and right away I thought "WTF?"

I am so god damned gullible.

While she was at it, Court rigged the sprayer on the kitchen sink. I attempted to fill my water bottle and ended up with a wet t-shirt.

Thank god there wasn't a camera on hand

Almost a year after the fact, we are finally completing all the pieces of our move.

To recap, last May we moved out of a 1,200 sq ft three- bedroom apartment with a large outside storage room, to a less than 750 sq ft two-bedroom house with no storage at all (we barely have closets). Among other things, that presented us with the problem of where to store all of our camping gear.

One option was to keep it at a storage rental place for a monthly fee. We decided instead to invest in a cargo trailer that would allow us to store and transport our equipment. We have so much gear that we've had to rent a U-Haul any time we've gone camping. When you camp as often as we do, that gets expensive.

It turns out that cargo trailers aren't cheap, even if you buy a used one. It has taken us until now to finally get the money together for the trailer we wanted. We brought it home today, and that's when the fun started.

The first time I ever pulled a trailer was when I hitched a U-Haul to my Jeep and drove it from Pittsburgh to San Diego. Another time was our trip last summer through Alabama and Mississippi to Arkansas for a camping vacation. And of course there have been our many camping weekends here in Virginia.

As long as I'm going forward, pulling a trailer isn't a big deal. It's when I have to back up that things get complicated. My solution has been to avoid any situation where backing up is required. I've gotten away with it so far.

That wasn't an option today. Although it wasn't pretty, I'm proud to say that I managed to back that sucker into our driveway. And I did it without hitting a tree or our other vehicle.

Now that we have the trailer, we can move all our camping gear out of our sun room. The plan is to turn the sun room into a dining room. We'll accomplish that when we can buy a dining table.

Jane, you ignorant slut!

What's your slut quotient?

I know you are, but what am I?

Hat Tip

Searching for Jesus

Should I be scared?