Well, that didn't take long

Although we knew in March that my chapter 13 was almost paid off, we had to keep making payments until it was officially discharged. That meant over-paying by a certain amount. That amount wasn't clear until Friday, when we got the refund in the mail.

In the meantime, we decided that whatever the amount, we would allow ourselves to spend it, all of it, on anything we wanted.

When the check came we divvied up the money.

My share is already gone. I spent it in just four days. It nearly drove me crazy having that cash. I considered buying a DSLR camera, a new cell phone, an HDTV for the bedroom, and/or a sewing machine.

What did I end up buying? First, Court and I went together on a Wii, (including the Wii Fit and Wii Sports). We've been wanting one since they first came out, but the cost was always out of reach until now.

I suck at video games, so I am sure to suck at Wii. But if it will help me lose weight, then I don't care how bad I suck at it. I want to look good naked and I'm willing to do what it takes to get there (short of liposuction).

Even with that purchase, I still had a fair amount of money left over. The pressure to spend it was killing me.

So I did something a little crazy. I bought a banjo. It's a used banjo of course; new ones cost a small fortune. Beginning next month, I'll be taking lessons every Tuesday afternoon with Warren at East Jesus Music. I'm really psyched about it.

I'm glad the money is spent. Now I can go back to complaining about my allowance.

I'm feeling a surge

This withdrawal is the strangest thing. I'm at a place now where half the time I am a basket case, and the other half of the time I'm feeling better than ever.

My appetite is back. I'm not nauseous all the time. In fact, I got a hankering for favorite of mine and made the most excellent meal the other night.

I've been exercising again, and spending a lot of time in the sun outside (I have the poison ivy to prove it).

I'm staying ahead of my work. I'm back to cranking out cookie-cutter models. It's easy money compared the financial aid models I do in the fall and winter. I have better concentration too. I'm less ADHD-like when working; I actually stay on task and am less easily distracted by twitters and blogs and email. Sometimes my workday, which starts at around 7:00am, is wrapped up by 11:00am. It used to be, for lack of focus, that the same amount of work got stretched over the entire day.

On the down side, I find being around people a challenge. I am exceedingly impatient and crabby. I am prone to meltdowns. Conversations frustrate me. I also have frequent days where crying comes way too easy. I could do with a lot less of all this. I don't like being a bitch.

I keep coming here looking for a new post

Then I snap out of it and realize I need to write a new post if I want to see one.

I haven't had much of a muse for blogging.

The truth is, I haven't felt particularly well. I've seen my doctor and we're working on a few things. I'll see her again in a month for a more thorough assessment.

Emotionally, I've had some really bad days lately. This is to be expected, I suppose, given that my brain is adjusting to no antidepressants. On a bad day I'm not nice to be around, and I know it. I'm hoping this rough patch is just a phase of my withdrawal.

Yesterday was Amanda's last day of school. I've never been so happy to see a school year end. Though she just completed 10th grade I'll be enrolling her at the community college in the fall as a regular freshman. She tested into college English and math, so she's good to go. By the time her high school classmates are getting their diplomas, she will have, hopefully, completed her first two years of college. I hope it's a good move for her. High school just wasn't working out.

In other good news, my chapter 13 bankruptcy, stemming from my first marriage and subsequent divorce, was discharged (paid in full) on June 1. I am debt free. I cannot describe how free that feels.

Here comes the sun

We've had a long stretch of gray dark days this spring. Darkness kicks me in the ass.

This weekend, finally, the sun is back.


I am so much better now.

My most excellent day at the paperclip

As you may have guessed, I had a great time at the race on Sunday. We left the house at 8:00, stopped at Panera for breakfast to go, and reached the track by 10:00.

We were directed to an access road that leads to several parking lots located behind the camping area. While it meant easy-in/ easy-out from the lot, it also meant walking all the way through the campgrounds. And they were muddy. This is how things were after two days of constant rain:


When we got to the track, our first order of business was buying tickets. We decided to wait to buy tickets for fear the race would be rained out. Though we paid a bit more per ticket, we ended up in very good seats. More on that later.

The next order of business was finding a good position for the airing of NASCAR Raceday Live, scheduled to begin at 11:30am. Here's how the show looked from our point of view. We had to fight for position. And it was VERY windy.


We stayed through the first 30 minutes of the show and then headed off to buy merchandise.


After that we headed through the gates and to our seats. We had excellent seats. We were right off turn two, about 24 rows up, with a great view of pit stall #1 and the pit road finish line. In a race where it's hard to gain track position, pit strategy is everything. We saw several close battles to be first off pit road.


This was our view of the back stretch.


The pre-race flyover.



My guy, Tony Stewart, had a GREAT race. A lot of tires were blowing, ruining the fortunes of many drivers by putting them lap-after-lap down. Stewart finished a solid third, his best finish so far this year. Take a look...



The best part? Court and I behaved like the married couple we are. We held hands almost the entire time we were there. Sitting in the stands, I either had my arm around her, or she had hers around me. My back started bothering me, so I spent the last 250 laps kinda leaning on Court. We were clearly a couple. And no one batted an eye. No one gave us grief. In fact, no one even noticed us that I can tell. It just goes to show you: NASCAR fans have way more class than most people are willing to admit.

The guy in the seat next to me was a real-estate agent from NC. I told him about my desire to own farm property somewhere between Hickory and Asheville. He's a Jr. fan. The guy next to him was a Harvick man. Next to him was an Edwards fan. And next to that guy were Stewart fans (husband and wife). Most of the people in our section were married men out on a Sunday without their wives. One in ten people were women, who were generally there with their husbands.

The last 50 laps were COLD. Clouds came out and it was VERY windy. I had trouble driving home for the wind.

We had a great time. I can't wait until the race in October. Maybe I'll persuade Syd to come back for that one. Who knows what I might do to her otherwise.

Overheard @ Trop's

Trop: We're an unlikely pair for a perfect couple.


Court: We're like peas in a pod.



Trop: You are a sugar snap pea.

Court: Uh-huh.




Trop: And our kids will be a baby sweet peas.

Court: Uh-huh.


Trop: And I'll be a shriveled up pea.

Court: Like the kind they serve in school lunches.

How you know you are in for a fun night

You know you are in for a wild night when your wife picks you up after work for happy hour, and hanging from the rear view mirror is this blindfold and these.




I love my wife.

The winter thaw

We had a taste of spring this weekend. The temperature hit 72 on Saturday. That night we had our first back-yard fire of the year. We had another fire last night.


Our whole weekend was fabulous.

Happy dance time

Court got a new job! It's a full-time job, and a good paying one at that.

She first interviewed for this job in October. Then there were several follow-up interviews. Then there was a delay. Then another interview.

Finally, today, she got the official word. Start date is January 21.

We are over-the-top excited.

It's been a long time since this happened to me

We had places to go and people to see last night. At our last stop, a guy tried to pick me up.

The last time a guy hit on me was 1988. It's a fact. I eventually married him.

This guy, who was barely of legal drinking age, knew exactly what he was doing too. He instinctively knew that the way to this geek-girl's heart is her glasses.

That's right, he complimented my glasses.

~ swoon ~



Then he asked about the woman with me.
[cue that needle-scratching-a-record sound]
"She's my wife."



He didn't even blink.

Always the last to know

I've been an East Jesus resident for going on six years, and I just now discovered the lesbian cafe.



It's true.

East Jesus has a dyke diner.

I'm so popular

I'm a person who relocates about every three to five years. I've been moving ever since I left home. I moved to Ohio. And then to Milwaukee. And then to Pittsburgh. And then San Diego.

I never got especially attached to these places. I always considered myself a transient, passing through. I didn't make friends. I never got invested. I preferred to stay anonymous.

East Jesus has been different. Coming to East Jesus was my chance to hit the re-set button, find redemption, and make my life count.

I have to chuckle at the symbolism: I needed saving, and East Jesus is where my salvation keeps happening.

I've made friends here. I've gotten involved in the life of this place. I've even ventured into community organizing.

Anyway, I realized the other night just how different life in East Jesus is.

We were out with friends for happy hour at a popular downtown establishment. It was First Friday in East Jesus, so everyone was out on the town. This was the first time Court and I have gone to First Friday.

The night started slow, but by the end there had been nearly fifteen people with our group. And while our group was having a great time, another group, mostly people we know from church, streamed in throughout the evening.

All night Court and I were bumping into people as they came and went. I shook more hands and hugged more people Friday night than I did standing in the receiving line of my own wedding.

Without knowing it, I got popular.

Here's the thing. I'm aloof. I'm a loner. I find comfort in anonymity. Popular and me don't go together. I don't know that I'm cut out for all this popularity.

So far so good. I'm having fun for a change.

Come on get happy

I added a new blog label not too long ago: "happy."

I've been happy a lot lately. I don't know when I've felt this good. I'm a long-time chronic depression sufferer, so it's not a trivial thing for me to feel happy.

Leaving the college has been good for me. I'm doing really good work these days, and it's been a very long time since I've been able to say that.

I've reconnected with my church, and that has made me happier. I've been much more involved in church things too. I've renewed old friendships, and I'm forming new ones. I was even invited to play guitar Tuesday nights with a couple of guys from church. It's all good.

Amanda still struggles. I have a lot of fear, frustration, and anger about that. But we muddle along. She and I have a good relationship. She talks to me. She trusts me. We're honest with each other.

Life with Court just keeps getting better, not that it was ever bad. It's just that I know what it is to suffer through a bad marriage. This time around, my marriage is all good. Every bit of it.

Veggie Tales

Hat Tip

Scenes from a walk

Not a great photo, but check out the geese I saw while out for my walk today.

Date night rocks

We had the best time on election day, when we drove to Charlottesville after voting.

I decided that the end of the campaign called for a celebration. I splurged on a cigar.

Sublime.



For the record, I'm not picking up the habit again. I just thought it a fittin' way to celebrate the end of the longest ever presidential campaign.

We had the best time at the restaurant. We were seated in a very private booth, in a section of the restaurant I didn't even realize existed. The privacy allowed us to let down our guard. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. From now on we'll be asking for that booth whenever we make reservations.

He almost pulled it off

Election results for East Jesus, VA:





















Obama lost East Jesus by just 1,366 votes. Factor out all of Falwell's Liberty University students, and Obama carried the city by a large margin. That's amazing.

We're making plans to go to DC for the inauguration. We decided we'd go no matter the outcome, but the historical significance of this particular inauguration makes us want to be there all the more.

A poem from my daughter

I wish I were a lightning bug,
I wish I were a bee
but which one would you rather be?
"A bee" say some
"A lightning bug" says me!
for how could I be glum
if I had a light in my bum?

Autumn in Virginia

We decided to drive to Charlottesville yesterday to enjoy the foliage and window shop at the downtown mall.

We saw W. at the movie theater while there. It was disappointing. Most of the performances were flat and off-the-mark. Thandie Newton's portrayal of Condi Rice was WAY off. Don't waste your money on this one.

Summer is definitely over. It's gotten quite chilly here (by Virgina standards). Nevertheless, it was a great day for a drive.