I'm taking Amanda out of high school this year. She would have been a junior.High school wasn't working out. The problem? She's a truant.
The battle over school attendance began a long time ago, in second grade. It's grown progressively worse over the years. On this one I am a miserable failure as a parent, because I lost the battle.
Everyone always asks "Why doesn't she like school? Why won't she go?" I wish I knew. I wish SHE knew. Tens of thousands of dollars in hospitalizations, medications, and therapy have been spent on these questions. We still don't have an answer.
It's not that she can't do the work. She's in the advanced honors track. And despite missing more days than she attended, she did well on her AP history exam and easily passed her 10th grade standards of learning exams. Last spring she took a college placement exam and tested into college-level English and math.
Having lost the battle, I can't lose the war. So much is at stake.
So, we are changing course.
Tomorrow I'm enrolling Amanda at East Jesus Community College, where she'll earn an AA&S in liberal arts. She chose liberal arts over general studies because of the more rigorous language requirement (she's had three years of high school Spanish). I submitted the plan to the superintendent of schools, and today we got the letter approving the plan.
Having worked there I know EJCC like the back of my hand. I can steer her to better teachers and courses. More importantly, I have friends there who will keep an eye out for her.
Academically, Amanda can hold her own with adult college students. I'm more than concerned, however, about her social life at EJCC. On the one hand, I desperately want her to make friends (quite a few HS-aged kids take classes there). On the other hand, I worry because, though she's only 16, she looks 21. And she's attractive. I think you get where I'm going.
Just the same, this has to work. I don't know what else to do.
10 comments:
It sounds like academically this is the right thing for Amanda, and since you understand the social risks you will be able to keep on eye on her, hopefully. That would be my biggest concern, too. I guess you just have to be clear with her about the rules about who she can hang out with, how late she can be out, etc., and that those are based on her age and social maturity, not that she's a college student. I taught high school for 6 years and kids that age have a special place in my heart. Some of them just aren't a good fit for the "normal" school experience, and I think it's great that your school district has a system in place like this.
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and hope for the best for both of you!
Thanks for the encouragement.
Actually, her school district does not have a system in place for this.
The surrounding rural districts have Early College programs with EJCC, where high school juniors and seniors get their AA&S at the college while earning their HS diploma. Because they are still in the high school system, parents pay nothing for tuition, fees and books. Moreover, students who complete Early College are guaranteed admission to all of Virginia's 4-year schools. It's a great deal.
East Jesus city schools does not offer Early College. Officially, Amanda is being home schooled. She'll have to settle for a GED, I'll have to pay for tuition, fees and books; and transfer to a public 4-year is not guaranteed.
There are some online schools that you can access that would allow Amanda to earn a regular diploma and may also give HS credit for college courses. I work for an online school myself, so I know these exist. Some are only available to students who live in the same state, but there are also some that allow students from all over the country. I highly recommend looking into this so that Amanda doesn't have to settle for a GED...especially if she can get double credit for her course work.
Not much I can add, other than you're doing what you feel as her mom is the right thing to do, that's the best thing you can do.
TheWeyrd1: I'm not concerned about Amanda having a GED instead of a HS diploma. The GED doesn't carry the same stigma it once did, thanks to all the home schooling going on out there.
I think this is a very positive thing. I took that same route as a teenager ~ including the truancy. When I quit high school and went to Community College it was a much better fit for me. I also had a part time job.
Also, once you have a college degree, no one cares whether or not you finished high school.
Trust yourself, Trop.
Sounds like you have thought through this very carefully and are making the right decision. I hope she thrives in the CC environment.
My youngest sister did something similar, left HS at 16 was enrolled in a program from which she got an associates degree. She was bored at school and having trouble at home... she was ready for more independence. Now, after teaching for 2 years, she is in an MSW program and happy.
I'd give my two cents and say you're doing the right thing. I know I'd do it. Or will do it. Gotta go with the flow and if this is where Amanda's going, flow with it.
Or something like that. Ah hell, you get the idea!
Hey, Trop, I read your comments on Syd's blog and found my way over here. My daughter is 26. I let her drop out at 16. She would GO to school, but she would simply not do the work. She COULD do the work, but she wouldn't. She would help OTHER students do THEIR work, but she wouldn't do hers. Drove me quite to the edge of insanity. She started running away from home at age 11, and up until age 16 when she got pregnant (of course she did, right?) I was pulling my hair out, nailing her windows shut, etc.
Ten years and 2 wonderful kids later, she got her GED in March and is going into her 2nd semester at the local community college for radiology. She also got married last October. It's been a long road, but she has been my greatest teacher that sometimes you need to let people find their own path, even if it seems totally alien to you.
I have a feeling your daughter was probably bored to tears and was way ahead of the game. Maybe the college atmosphere will do the trick for her. I hope so, and I will be thinking of you.
Just know that other moms have had to make similar hard decisions and things do work out.
Hang in there,
GG
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