Pissy in Pleasantville

I'm still not sleeping right. And I am totally burned out.

I work for a small consulting firm that two major consulting firms hire for analytic number crunching upon which they provide a very expensive array of services. The firms cultivate the business, sign clients, and provide a lot of warm-fuzzy hand holding. We are a quasi-silent partner, providing analysis from the background.

There has been a turn of events with one of the firms my company deals with. Their primary analyst, "J," is leaving. J is brilliant and I have loved working with him. I've learned much from him. He's a gifted analyst. Gifted analysts are rare.

I was the last to know that he's leaving. My company was told weeks before I found out. I was not happy.

That was months ago. In the interim, the parent firm brought in a part-time enrollment expert to take over for J. And they've hired a math teacher with no higher ed consulting experience, a full-time replacement, who only started last week.

Friday is the J's last day, and just today I was told by the client that *I* would serve a primary role in transitioning projects from J to the new analyst. It means that I become the interim project manager for THEIR clients while they get their footing, while still doing all the background stuff.

WTF? This is their transition plan and I am the last to know?

My boss at my company was just as surprised. He emailed for my reaction and I told him I was upset to be the last to know. Had I been brought into the decision-making months ago, I could have told our client their transition plan won't work.

There is a lot I do for my company and their clients during business hours. I cannot do it at my day job. As a state agency everything is monitored, information security is being tightened and everything is being audited. I can't spend hours of state time conducting LiveMeeting conference calls with clients unless I take annual leave to do it. And I can't use state equipment or state internet access for these purposes. But that's how the business is conducted; on the phone and over the Internet. It's just not possible to meet the obligation of transitioning clients from one analyst to another in this context.

Secondly, it's not in the agreement I have with my company. I'm paid to run the numbers, build the tool, answer questions, and offer advice. Our client is charging, by the $10Ks, a lot more per project than I get paid to do my part of each project.

And then there's Amanda. I think she's crashing again. It's been a bad week for her (and me). I'm not available to take on additional responsibility right now. Had we discussed the transition plan before now, I would have told the client this. The client is aware that Amanda was hospitalized and that I am needed at home.

So there. I'm annoyed about consulting and I'm worried about Amanda. But then there's Court.

Two weeks ago Court and I had the closest thing, for us, to a fight. I'm not going to get into it except to say it was a situation where we both wanted the same thing, but in the offering we managed to hurt each other deeply. I made Court cry and she so rarely cries. We were "off" for quite a few days, but were able to talk and finally resolve things on Monday. It's sort of like we fought and made up, but without any nastiness.

Oh. My. God.

The making up has been so good that it can't be good for a woman my age. Court and I are having our best couple time EVER. It's like a whole new world has opened up... like I've been living in Pleasantville all my adult life and I'm just now seeing things in color.